The habits of this bird are sadly predictable. Worried that his nest won’t hold, he builds two. Too nervous to sing, it makes alarmed little calls throughout the night. The mating season is especially hard on this species, amplifying its abundant neuroses. Advice: A kind word here or there couldn’t hurt.
The Ne’er Shut Up is the most enthusiastic singer of any species. He sings morning, noon and night, stopping only occasionally for a snack or brief nap. If you have one nesting in your yard, your life will be filled with song. Your entire natural life.
Sure that twenty pound bag of birdseed is enough? I only ask because if you live in one of the 46 states that the Greedy Grebe nests, it won’t be. This drab, well camouflaged bird is the picture of gluttony, emptying your feeder as fast as you can fill it. Attempts to find it and give it a good talking to will fail. This bad ass is unrepentant.
Some would call it alert, others crazed. This turbo-charged member of the blackbird family builds its next near Starbucks outlets, waiting for customers to abandon the dregs of their drinks. Having fortified itself, it tirelessly sings and builds nests into the wee hours. Also fond of biscotti.
Dowdy but sweet looking, this species used to be kept as pets. They were released for good reason: they can tax the patience of a saint. They seem frail, but become a force to contend with at feeders, where they cut ahead of younger birds who don’t know the ropes. Of course they do crash early. A mercy for other species who have to cope with their erratic, horrifying flying patterns. It may be rush hour for you, but it’s buffet time for them. Advice: move aside.
So called for its distinctive black and white plumage and its compulsive use of bird baths. It’s charming to see it cavort in your bath for the first hour or so - then its deep, plunging dive becomes disturbing. Will he be back tomorrow for another round? Is there any doubt?
Humans live near strip malls and land developments because we need a place to get our coffee and floor lamps quickly and conveniently. The Habitat Encroachment moves into our turf, making a herculean effort to adapt to an area that just wasn’t meant for him. Dropping the rest of your giant pretzel on the ground only encourages this behavior. Our best bet against this brightly colored, songful intruder is maintaining our spaces as bleak, unwelcoming patches of concrete.
Most birds sing in the morning and the evening. That is the natural order of things. Try telling that to the Crackpot, a bird who sings whenever he damn well pleases. It could be midnight, 3 AM or five minutes before your alarm is set to go off. The only thing dependable about this species is its earsplitting whistle. And yes, they are protected.
The Delaware Dandy is a vain bird, in a constant search for reflective surfaces. Occasionally, he will mistake his own reflection in a window for a rival Dandy and attack, giving himself a concussion. At this point, he becomes your problem. Since the only decent thing to do is nurse him back to health, you’ll be digging worms for the next six weeks or so. Advice? Hide your mirrors.
Spooky movies and pet birds just don’t mix, as I keep telling people. Expose them to an old Sci-Fi and they’ll do nothing but creep you out with the same four notes, repeated with a vibrato that suggests that someone is trying to kill you. The wisest course of action: Watch a Western. Birds love Westerns.
